Healing after death - healing from creativity

Today is the 9 year mark since my friend Ellen died, much too young. 

She was a beautiful human being, both inside and out.I became friends with her through Hip Stitch - I taught her sewing and she taught me

to be a better person.She left 3 small children, who are now teenagers & preteens, and I think about them,

and Walt, her husband. 

A few months after she passed, Walt came by Hip Stitch and gave me many of Ellen's fabrics.  I held onto them dearly as a memory of my friend.  Lisa, a friend who worked at the store, made me this quilt some time later from those scraps:

I cherish it to this day.

Here's Ellen with Rosanne and Claudia at the 'old' Hip Stitch:

I met Helen this week, who came to Hip Stitch for the 1st time with her 1st quilt. 

As we talked, I teared up.  She worked on the quilt while she was caretaking her father, who was dying. 

She would come to his home and sew the blocks together, and it made him happy. 

She told me he passed away almost 20 years ago, but she couldn’t until recently take out the quilt top

to finish it without crying and grieving her father. 

And then one day she could work on it.  And she finished it. 

And she felt a bit the joy her father felt about the quilt.

I teared up because memories of the summer of 2016 came flooding back - when I was my mom’s caretaker as she was dying of ovarian cancer.  How I’d travel from home to her apartment to work, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.  I had my mom’s train case to carry all my toiletries, and the zipper finally wore out.  So that summer, as she slept more and more and I was there just to be in the room with her, I got out her sewing machine and sewed a new train case.  And every time I use it, I think of that summer.  And the grieving becomes less and less - it never goes away, mind you, but the joy and the good memories become stronger and the tears aren't as frequent.

Why do we create?  We create to heal, to make memories, to tell someone we love them, to share our talents and ourselves with others. We create to remember.

Reflections on 2022

 2022 ended for me with art on doors.  My daughter Claire, who creates like there's a fire that can't be extinguished in her soul, painted some of our interior doors.  They're just doors - inexpensive, old, inside doors.  I figured, if/when the house is sold someday, that's an easy swap out, right?

So 2023 begins and new doors open.  We at Hip Stitch made the decision to close for a 2nd day each week, for a number of reasons, but time to rest, plan, create were a few of them.

The last few years have been a roller coaster of running a business.  It's time to calm the waters, right the ship, and sail on with calmer weather.

Part of that goal for me as the co-owner of this business is finding my footing of what IS Hip Stitch.  

*A huge, carry everything fabric store?  Definitely not.

*A take a number, ignore you when you come in because we don't have time for you?  Nope.

*A club where you'll only get niceties if you know us and we know you?  Gad no.

*A place where you'll feel embarrassed to ask questions because you feel you'll be judged?  Definite NO.

It's been almost 15 years that I've been at the helm of this ship.  I've grown, I've learned, I've been put in my place and humbled and learned humility and laughed until I peed my pants and made lifelong friends and had help for my depression from the community that supports and lifts me up by shopping at Hip Stitch and asking me how I'm doing.  I'm a very lucky girl.

So, at the risk of making those dreaded 'resolutions' that we've all done at one time or another in our lives and then been disappointed in ourselves when we've failed at them:

In 2023, I plan to teach more.  

In 2023, I plan to listen more.  

In 2023, I plan to work just a bit more on my passion for social justice and how Hip Stitch can be a vehicle for that.  

In 2023, I plan to nurture friendships more.  

The word more doesn't have a timeline to it, or a concrete set of objectives.  I'm going to be more gentle with myself, and forgiving, and continue to begin each day by saying out loud, "It's a new day"....which if you ask my daughters, they occasionally get a text from me in the morning with that message.

(Won't you join me on this journey?)

Some of the highlights from 2022: 

(also known as a photo dump)

Having 2 local artists jump on board with my co-owner Steve and I and our dream to produce fabrics unique to Hip Stitch while showcasing artists & their work to our customers.  Victoria and Tammy took this plunge with us and it was quite fun - we hope to continue with them and having one more artist we're on the verge of having her fabric printed!  

(lesson learned:  everything takes 3 times longer than we expect)

A once-in-a-lifetime trip to Mexico on behalf of Hip Stitch w/Reut & Ginny:

A once in a lifetime trip to Gees Bend, Alabama:

A daughter who had her heart broken and went on a
solo backpacking trip to Europe. 

Steve & I accepting the NM Business in Ethics Award.
(I didn't pass out from public speaking - win-win!)

A new son-in-law!  They are simply beautiful, these 2.
(neckties made with Hip Stitch fabric....just sayin')

A new son-in-law who quilts!

A sweet flower girl whose dress I loved making, almost as much as I love these girls.

The 4 of us, on the day that we
became the 5 of us.

Crafting with children = happiness.

My friend Heather and I seeing
each other after too long, at the wedding.
Heather co-founded Hip Stitch with me. 
I am so very lucky to have her in my life.

So, let's fling open a new door and get going through it, shall we? 

A tale of 2 sisters

 I am the baby; she is the oldest.  We have 2 brothers in between.  She is 6 years older than me, so naturally, she looked after me.

Here she is, wiping my drool, (or so I thought for all these years, until I looked more closely and I think she was probably reaching out to the cat in my lap):

Here we are in the glory of the 70s:

And at her high school graduation:

And then we entered adulthood and marriage and jobs and raising children and came together and fell apart and came together again.  One thing has remained constant:  she is my protector, my cheerleader, my guide in so many ways.  She's the smart one.  She's the bossy one.  She's the wise one.

And so for her 60th birthday this summer, she threw a party, and all 4 of us siblings were together for it.  The 1st time we were all together since our mom died.  So it was extra special, given that the last 2 years were ones of uncertainty about anything.

I had bought the Mountain High quilt kit from Stitch in Durango, CO - LeeAnn, the owner, is a friend of mine and her shop received the Top Shop Award for Quilt Sampler:

 LeeAnn's  quilt made the cover of the magazine, and it made me swoon.  I bought the kit (this was April 2021), and started to chip away at it.  It was still an immensely busy and stressful time for me at Hip Stitch, but working on this project soothed my stressful days.

It wasn't intended for Gretchen from the start.  I didn't know who or where it was going.

(If you know me, my gift giving and remembering special days are hit and miss.  

It's not one of my prouder characteristics.)

But as it evolved in the making, the clarity in the recipient came into focus.  Gretchen has lived in Denver for 30 years, but for a stint in Seattle.  She is a mountain girl - she's fit, and healthy, and hikes and skis and does so many more outdoorsey things than I do (not jealous, not at all)

Mountain High came together, and of COURSE it was for Gretchen.  That's a no-brainer. 

Happy Birthday, big sister.  I love you.

She sent me a picture of it in her house, with the red leaves on the maple tree right outside the window:

Hip Stitch goes to Mexico

 Reut, Ginny & I returned to New Mexico after a trip to Chihuahua Ciudad and Creel, Chihuahua, Mexico.

I have 5 main takeaways after this trip:

1.  Those who have little in the way of material things, give the most.

2.  Both motherhood and sewing are universal languages.  Motherhood:  when we discovered another has children, the questions were:  nina or nino?  Cuantos años?  And then the pictures were asked for, and the smiles.  Sewing: they had learned and knew their basics; I had learned and knew my basics.  We didn't need to necessarily teach one another - just sew together!

3.  It's ok to not have to explain/interpret every feature on a sewing machine.  They had their work-arounds, and that was ok.

Inexpensive not-so-sharp snips?  Yep, that's just fine.

4.  It is really really challenging on my brain to communicate for an entire week with the 'poquito' Spanish I know.  Especially with sewing.  How to explain how the bobbin is to go into the bobbin case?  How to explain how to change a needle?  How to explain how and why to use a zipper foot?  Lots of gestures, lots of sheepish smiles, but that was ok.

(I was probably saying "por favor, une photo?", my mix of English/Spanish/French.)

(And she politely and shyly posing for a picture with me.)

 

5.  I realized quickly that I needed to relax and open myself up to be taught as well.  Their sewing skills and tricks.  Their style of sewing.  We had much to learn.

The 3 of us travelers have been communicating this week; exchanging emails with photo and memories.  This one, we all agreed, was the most impactful:

Conchita with her new machine!

(see that house way behind her?  That's where she lives.)

Here was an adventure when we had some car trouble and 2 were trying to figure out what was wrong with the car while 2 were on the hill, trying to get phone reception:

Climb into the back of the pickup truck to get a lift to the party?  No problem!

(the car was easily fixed - a rock got jammed in the wheel axle)

And what a party it was!

Children + Art = Happiness

 I am filled up - with joy, with serenity, with hope.

I spent a day with 2 adorable, bright, sweet children, in my sewing room.  They are brother and sister, 4 and 7.  By the end of our time, my studio would have made a neatnik shudder.  But it made me so simply happy.

(Now, just in case you're wondering, I DID have them help me clean up at the end of the day - the teacher and mother in me couldn't have them leave their mess behind - what kind of life lesson would that be?)

But oh, the joyous mess!  There were no rules - scissors were used, glue was covering a paper plate and also little hands and a floor that was easily washable.  Fabric scraps were shared with abandonment - why do I need to keep this 5" square pristine and unused?  Why?

YES - dump out that can of buttons!  Use whatever ones you want to glue onto that fabric!  These are not for decoration, you know.  Why save a can of vintage buttons?  WHY?  Make art please.

He said, "I want to make a snake."  I said, "well, draw it out and let's get going."  He drew and designed, I sewed.  He stuffed it.  Together we made a snake:

Everything was beautiful.  Every single piece of precious artwork they created.  Nurturing a child's inner artist is a vital part of their growth.  Just as important as teaching them manners, and social skills, and life skills.

And at the end of my day, my pins were all organized - well, SOME sort of organization is going on here: